This Knife

It’s his love
For me that makes
Me remember these
Memories fondly
Like it was yesterday
And should I
Have the knife
I’ll confidently
Plunge it in
No blame, no hesitation
It’s the loud kisses
In a house so large and empty
The silence that lasted
Only for a second or so
The hands moving
Like no one else was in the room
His manly legs
Muscles so comfortable
I didn’t need a pillow for my head
Tall, rough, strong
My African weight was nothing to compare
It’s his voice that I remember fondly
The smile he gave only rarely
He wasn’t ready to show his soft side
My tough manly babe
I remember how he gave everything
Yet all I offered were remains
From a love I thought was pure
And I’m not about to blame him for leaving
I want to remember our late nights
Morning tea, evening walks
Lazy Sundays, naked Mondays
Our bodies tight together
His warmth
And how he
Brought life back to me
How he made me laugh again
My tough manly babe
It’s this knife I held
The very day I watched him leave
I plunged it right through
My heart
I wish
I could
Ask him to stay